C’est la vie, G
It’s been two weeks since Gideon and I went out for dinner, and I’ve heard neither hide nor hair from him. (And yes, I realize I just used that expression incorrectly, but leave me alone.) Thankfully, my feelings for him are starting to wane, too. It may be that he just hasn’t contacted me because he’s so busy. He does have two jobs and school, and lives out in the East Bay. But I made quite an effort to see him the past two or three times we’ve hung out. And it’s not like I’m so desperate or that he’s so awesome of a guy that I’m going to throw myself at him.
Plus, I’ll be honest: there’s an air of elitism about him which I realized the last time we hung out that sort of doesn’t sit well with me. I mean, it’s one thing to appreciate the finer things in life, but it is possible to have a playful sensibility and still be an intelligent, mature, sparkling person with a good heart. And it is these things that compose who you are, not the things that you have, that matter. If you don’t get that, you’re a long ways away.
I think his projected sense of aloofness is to mask some level of insecurity. I could work with that, and would actually have fun poking at it so he could get to the core issue of what it’s about, but if he’s not even bothering to send me a text or an email so we can hang out, there is no opportunity to do so. And there’s no point in my putting all of my eggs in one basket and pandering after one person. I’m not that fuckin’ ugly, and I’m definitely kind of awesome.
Of course, this is the cue for me to get a text from him tomorrow and then completely changing my mind. I tell you, I wouldn’t mind.
