Picture this
My mom has a picture of me up on the wall in third grade on my way to a talent show looking quite sullen. I remember it distinctly because as we all got out of the car, she said, “Now get in front of the car so I can take a picture of you!” And there’s me, the little blond smurf in my white dress shirt and tie, all irritated ’cause she’s holding me up.
This was not an uncommon scenario. My family loves–nay, thrives on taking pictures, like it’s life blood.
My grandmother, one on visit when I was in high school, demanded we all go out into the driveway one morning so she could take a picture of all of us before she left. And there we are, looking like shit in the glaring sun. But she got her picture.
She tried that stunt recently a few years ago, and I stopped her old ass short, insisting that I put my make up on and dress in something decent first. My sister, and then even my mom followed suit. It was an enjoyable coup.
I am not photogenic, but that doesn’t mean I’m ugly. Some photogenic people are a fright up front. I know. I’ve seen them. I myself am just too shiny and white to come off well in pictures. So I tend to hate taking them.
Flash forward to the present, where I keep getting these emails from Facebook saying people have tagged my photos. Fearing vandalism to my Facebook profile, I logged on and discovered all of my “Friends” have a bunch of albums they’ve put in my photos tab. For me to view, apparently. And which can be categorized under one of the following:
1. Drunken, Fun Event with Friends to Which You Were Not Invited
2. My Pets/Relatives/Co-workers in Some Banal, Sterile Setting
3. Vacation to Exotic Locale Which You Lack the Means to Visit
4. Nature, and Other Crap Which I Find Beautiful and Moving
5. Costume-themed Shots Intended To Showcase My “Crazy” Side
6. Shameless Booty Pics
7. My Significant Other and I in Our Relationship, Of Which You Are Not A Part
So, my thank you to everyone for sharing. Rest assured, I will take as much time as you think I will in perusing these lovely, lovely picture albums.
