feat. Missy Elliot
Last night was just another bad dream that would make a great, bizarre indie short to heap on to the rest of them. I suppose it didn’t help terribly that I just laid about all day watching “Viva La Bam” DVDs and catnapping. Nor that my new bamboo blinds completely block out any natural sunlight, which is great for mornings, but a mite depressing for daytimes.
In the dream, I was going to some sort of prom or New Year’s Eve event with one male friend and one female friend. The place was packed, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
How, I know not why, but I somewhere along the way I ran into Missy Elliot, who looked thin and fantastic. I for some reason took it upon myself to give her some financial advice, and she she looked at me like I was some crazy person.
After making my way through this hideous gym bathroom (note: most of my nightmares include this same, labyrinth-like “Hostel”-inspired bathroom. Must be because public bathrooms gross me out like no one’s bidness, so why wouldn’t they be in my nightmares), I went back to the dance to find my two friends. Most of the attendees had gone, and the few remaining people were these emo, crackhead wasteheads doing odd things. My friends were making fun of them when suddenly this one girl busted out with a machine gun and began gunning people down. It was fairly horrific.
About which time, I decided I didn’t want to be at the dance, and magically flew out of the gym, out through the doors (which, coincidentally, were made of the same bamboo as my new blinds…), and up into the sky. Then I woke up and felt heavy as lead.
So, um, yeah, I’ll be smudging my room tonight.
