These dreams
Last night’s freaky dream was some sort of class reunion with old high school-and junior high enemies. In the dream, I was shirtless (good God), and totally lambasting all of these popular people in school who either hadn’t given me the time of day, or been mildly nasty to me.
I started by telling them how much they meant to me and how thankful I was to have known them, in a tone that was so turgid you could squeeze the sarcasm out of it. Then I told them they’d gotten fat, and that was that. And it embarrassed the fuck out of all of them.
Then we all ended up trashing the house we were in, which ended up belonging to my Aunt Carol. When she arrived home, I was mortified, and offered to pay for all the damages, to which she replied, "You bet you will!" I was literally in a panic thinking of the thousands of dollars it would cost to repaint the walls, replace the furniture, fix the carpet, not to mention how mortifying it was to have wrecked a family member’s house…
…when I woke up, reLIEVED as a muthafucka that it’d all been a dream.
I have to say, this one was a bit worse than the one Tuesday night, in which Shaquille O’Neal served me a drink at a bar.
