The Jigtastic Journal of J. Na Na

For the first time in a good three months, I was able to buckle my belt through the fourth hole without cinching myself into asphyxiation.  I nearly wept with joy.  And it’s all thanks to this wonderful new weight loss pill I’ve been taking, as per recommended by J. Co by way of her hot goth rocker brother from LA, Hot Rox.  They may run $36 bucks a pop, and possibly cause an aneurysm somewheres down the way, but by God, they work.

Have you ever been walking along the sidewalk, and think you’re all alone, so you let a fart go, then you look behind you after the fact, and there are actually people there?  No, neither have I.

Daylight Savings is bullshit.  It may only be one hour, but I’ve been completely discombobulated all freakin’ day. 

My third grade teacher, Mrs. Johnson, had a rocking chair that she sat in in the front of the class.  Once I sat in it, and she sat on my jokingly, and the whole class laughed.  And she sat there for, like, a full minute. 

I would like to own the bus used in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert".

So much for better dreams! Last night, I dreamt that I was the pre-host of the Oscars, giving the introductory speech and introducing Ellen. We were all getting ready in our formal wear in this cute house in the suburbs, and kind of running behind schedule, sort of like the scene in "Sixteen Candles" when they’re all getting ready to go to the wedding. It was cute, and it was so much better than, say, being stalked by zombie-like crackheads. Mm.

I look forward to the day when they change the name of the Museum of Tolerance to something a little more… tolerable. I never knew that faggots, kikes, and niggers were something to be tolerated. I just figured we were just another color on the great spectrum of humanity, just like redneck hicks. Perhaps they should rename it the Museum of Humanity, so that mankind may realize how inhumane we’ve become.

The theme of my having very realistic nightmares continued last night when I dreamt I was at my old high school, and it had been overrun by drug dealers, thugs, and crackheads.  It was like "South Central High: The Video Game", and at one point the disgusting, zombie-esque crackheads almost got ahold of me.  But as always, I somehow developed magical powers just in the nick of time, and knocked them all out as I hightailed it out of there. 

I then woke up to what I though was the sound of a doorbell ringing twice (nicely playing on my ever-present fear of home intrusion).  Sugar was laying next to me, and didn’t stir, so I just assumed I’d imagined it.

I wonder if I need to smoke the bad chi out of the room, whatever the hell that means and however the hell you do it. 

The whole thing was topped off when I had to wake up this morning and administer Sugar’s eye ointment to her.  She was in a mischievous mood and kept dashing away from me.  And when I finally grabbed her to put it in, she was hissy pissed.  It’s hard giving your cat eye medicine when you just got them, and are still trying to win them over.

Luckily, I do think she loves me.

I had to take Sugarkitty Diva Jones to the vet for her first check up on Saturday. Luckily, the place is right down the street from me, and she was very compliant with me putting her in her carrier box. But they were running behind, and the lobby was not air conditioned, so she had stew in there for a half an hour, which was quite tramautizing for both her and myself.

But the appointment went by fairly quickly without incident, and the vet gave me medicine to put in her eyes–which is loads of fun, by the way. I have to do it twice a day, and of course Sugar is never too thrilled about it. And afterwards, I feel horribly guilty, and give her a bunch of treat.

Oh, and that was another thing–they said she was kind of fat. But I like fat cats, since they make for great living pillows. Its’ fun. But I guess I’ll have to measure out her food from now on.

Rockin’.

Today marks exactly seven years since I’ve been at my job.  It also marks the month in which, in just three weeks, I’ll be daytripping back to SD.  Good stuff.

Another 20-something female teacher was arrested for having sex with teenage boys.  *Yawn*  I think the only funny things is that the report referred to the boys as victims.  Yeah, poor guys were forced to get erections and bump uglies with teacher.