Hark thy herald jiggas sing
But the bottom line is that I just don’t care for white people who act black for a living. Especially when they’re whiter than white. Case in point: Eminem. Ya fuckin’ blond-haired, blue-eyed Swedish-ass motherfucker.
I received a mass email from an old friend named Wilma today with pictures of her and her kid. In it, she mentioned cursorily that she’d left her husband. We unfortunately had a falling out some years back, but back when I met her in college she was an extra awesome chick (and I’m sure still is). She is also the prime example of having what I call Mormon Escapism Syndrome (MES).
Ya see, Mormons are all expected to act like good little Christians squared, but kids will be kids. So they dress in outre accouterments but don’t swear, and participate in oral sex only since "regular" sex is verboten. They also seem to travel in packs, making them easily identifiable, so I can make all the generalizations I want ’cause I’m right.
That does not mean they’re all assholes, though. Wilma was certainly cool, and I’ve met other Mormons who are likewise cool, well knowing that I’m gay. But the confines of their cultish religion really put the pressure on them, so they tend to explode into reality once they break out of Utah-ville, and really make the most of the life they’ve been denied as a child.
Wilma, for instance, changed the color and style of her hair several times over the course of the two years I knew her in college. But she certainly had her shit together, and as lovably flaky as she was, got her master’s and became an elementary school teacher. After teaching in the Bay Area for about a year, she then went off to teach in Uzbekistan for two or three years, and while there, met a man, married him, and had a kid. And now it looks like they’ve separated. Sad.
But it’s a lot to have happen, especially since she’s only about 31 or 32. At least I think it’s a lot. Maybe she doesn’t have MES, and I just suffer from OFS (Old Fogy Syndrome). It’s been known to happen.
