But I’ve already had my vitamins today–pills
Someone shat in the stairwell of our ancient office building this morning. It took a good four hours before the custodial staff came to clean it up. Our director (aka. Businesswoman Barbie) was livid, and took the time to send an email out to all of the staff explaining the situation and solution.
I emailed her back saying, "You knew this happened a few weeks ago, too?"
She responded, "Yes, I think it was a dental patient from the second floor…"
During my senior year English class in high school, I once wrote a paper I knew the teacher would read aloud and purposefully named one of the characters in my story "Chewbacca" just to hear her pronounce it "Chew-back-ah".
Why is it everytime I go to the porno shop, the cash register inevitably malfunctions and a line develops behind me?
And when I’m at the grocery store, I end up in front of the crack addict who’s practically butt-fucking me in anticipation of getting to the cash register.
I have no luck with lines, save for certain powdery kinds.
