Warning: Sweeping Generalizations Ahead
I don’t mean to be a traitor to my own kind, but your average straight boy is just about nine times hotter than your average gay boy.
I was reminded of this fact today while walking past a coffee shop. There was a guy sitting at one of the outside tables, facing the street, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. Amazingly average-looking by all accounts, although the tatoo encircling the right ankle at the base of his tree trunk legs certainly stood out.
There was just something about the way he was sitting there, completely comfortable in his own space, unfettered masculine confidence warmly emanating from his person, that made me inwardly sigh at the contrast of potential applicants I get in the gay community. And of which I am, I hasten to add. Straight guys possess a natural confidence that doesn’t need expressing, and that comes from growing up without being, you know, called a faggot everyday.
There are so many benefits to being different from the norm, but in order to survive and flourish, you also have to lift yourself up from the norm. Basically, consider yourself better than the norm. So we never quite get to the point of just being naturally confident, because we’re too busy overdoing it. Hence, hyperbuffed circuit boys, bitchy drag queens, et. al. Wouldn’t it be nice if every faggot just, you know, sort of chilled out en masse?
In an effort to combat my spiraling descent towards a wheelchair-bound existence, I also purchased some Dr. Scholl’s gel foot insoles. Problem is they felt like they were full of not a cool gel, but rather burning lava caused by the friction of the insole, my foot, and the disproportionate space all up in the party going on in my shoes. Ouch.
