The Jigtastic Journal of J. Na Na

So things are ever-so-slightly looking up…

I have the new place, and they even approved me making a partial payment as per my pathetic financial situation at present. Hopefully, the deposit refund on my current place (which I’m not expecting will be terribly high) will come back asap. Why do landlords delight in screwing you over with your deposit refund, hm? Allen is borrowing his roommate’s car this weekend so I have a means of transportation to move my stuff, too.

I had to stay home again yesterday what with my nascent ulcer (joking, joking), which, while it caused me to be further behind at work, did give me a chance to clean up my naaasty room. It’s funny how when you see things with the date on them, you sort of classify them as before you broke up with your ex (B.X.) and after you broke up with your ex (A.X.). Or maybe that’s just me.

You’d think I wasn’t over it the way I whine on about it here online, in a frighteningly public forum, on a thing called the world_wide_web. And in a way I’m not. It’s mostly just the "having someone there no matter what" thing that I most miss, though I admit there are personal things about my ex himself that I miss, too.

Alright, enough of that. I’m making myself sicker reading this drivel, so it can’t be much fun for complete strangers to plow through.

P.S. Do you like my Dirk?

Just let me know when it’s okay for me to break down into tears, mkay?

My first pick for the roommate flaked, so I went with choice number two…which incidentally is number 2 from my previous entry. I’m sure logistically (rent/bills/etc) everything will go swimmingly, but that we’ll have absolutely nothing to talk about. Tant pis.

This is all, of course, assuming I get the place. What with my current landlord situation and the fact that I wasn’t on the lease at either of my prior residences, that sort of leaves me at a loss for a reference on that end. Mon dieu!

Must also coordinate the moving of my crap into the new place and the costs therein, though I am so egregiously poor and indebted from the money I had to borrow paying the extra rent on my current place. Alors…

I’ve found that praying does sometimes help. I saw it on some trashy-type late night show called "Unexplained Mysteries" (oxy moron if ever I heard one).

Take Monday night, for example, when I was sittin’ on the can feeling like I was near death. I had mistakenly ate some tuna left by my old roommate thinking it was kosher since there was no expiration date on the can. Oh no, my friends, tune too does expire. Anyway, I prayed that I would live through it and look! Here I am.

Small consolation. Things better get better real fast, that’s all I’m sayin’…

So, we (by which I mean I) interviewed potential roommates yester eve. Details below…

1. Byron: Musician-type guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend, lives just a couple buildings down from the place, works for a major designer label, a bit scruffy, but has nice green eyes, seems easygoing and copacetic.

2. Elvin: Well-mannered Asian boy, recent transplant from D.C., probably terribly easy to live with, absolutely nothing in common with.

3. Derrin: A no-show. Thanks, prick!

4. Rick: Introverted young thing from Santa-somethin’ or other, quiet gay boy looking to escape to the City, cute, but socially inept.

And while I had hoped to find someone more similar to myself to fill the room, I relented in the interest of time (I need someone by August 1st, and the application process could take a few days), and opted for he who would be most likely to make out with me.

Impetuous? Scandalous? Highly questionable selection process? You betcha.

But it’s been a tough year, and I’ve "gone without" for an alarmingly long time, so forgive me for letting my pecker make the pick. Besides which, who’s to say such will come to fruition? I mean, he was nice and employed, which are the only two requirements you really need in a roommate anyway, right?

Oh, and I’m not saying who he is just yet. Stew in ya curiosity, bitches!

Have you seen the commercials for that new movie "The Devil’s Rejects"? You know, I actually like horror films myself (even though they tend to scare the crap out of me), but imagine you were seven years old and saw that. Just watching cartoons after school at home and boom! Blood curdling screams, ghastly grimaces, and cliched quick-cut camera gimmickry fill the television screen where Bugs Bunny was just moments before.

So sue me if I sound like an old fogey bitchin’ about the state of things. I have a point.

And what further pisses me off is that while it’s perfectly okay according to the American public and the FCC for shit like that to run at 4:00 in the afternoon when kids are still wiiiide awake, the merest peck on the cheek between two men gets pushed back to 11:00 pm or slammed with an NC-17 rating.

Why is this country more afraid of love than we are of violence?

I’m seeing potential roommates (4) tomorrow evening. Perhaps I should pose this question to them each, and award the room to the person with the best response. Something along the lines of "Because it’s chock-full of war-hungry idiots and fuckin’ Republicans" will win me over in a heartbeat.