The Jigtastic Journal of J. Na Na

I just saw a pic of Chad Allen recently, and am sad to see he’s adapated to that crispy fried look most celebrities sport nowadays, replete with orange-esque skin, bleached spikes poppin’ from his noggin and glow-in-the-dark teeth. What happened to that shy blond cutie from "My Two Dads" I so had a crush on? He’s virtually unrecognizable now. Still, I’d hit it in a heartbeat.

Speaking of cuties, I swallowed me pride and emailed this guy on Friendster who I have always thought was tres hot, and who I’d spotted last week waiting for the bus. I think he noticed me, too, but didn’t reply back to my witty little e-missive. Pity, but it’s partly my own fault for being so lo-fi that I don’t have my own iPod computer camera whatever for decent pics (do you like my Vampire Black Barbie icon, btw? [it’s actually former cokehead Natalie Cole, overly decked out for some AIDS gala, ewh….).

This month marks the one year anniversary of my being single again. I don’t recommend it, but then again, you can’t always help it.

Now that I don’t live there anymore, I sometimes feel like some sort of traitor when I step foot back in to the Castro, as if I was excommunicated and banned from return. I wasn’t, I just had to move out when my ex and I broke up. They say you learn a lot from past relationships. What I learned was next time, get your ass on the lease.

Luck–cruel luck, I say–has found it necessary to deposit a stash of cutelicious Russian boys on Treasure Island during what appears to be some sort Olympic training. Fuck if I know, but one of them–a stunningly cute blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty–was on the bus the other day in bright blue Adidas-esque wear with "Russia" stenciled on the back of his jacket.

Now that the Cold War is over, I think the U.S. should show its benevolence to the Mother Country by shipping vats and vats of sunless skin bronzer to the former Soviet Union. I mean, yes, the boys are cute, but that corpse-white whiter shade of pale skin has gotsta go.

Oh, yeah, and I went to Devotion last night and had an incredibly wonderful fun-filled time. It’s amazing how you can be single and alone, stressed and poor, but still go to Devotion and be re-energized from the soul. "Be thankful…for what you got…be thankful that the sun shines again…"

When I was about sixteen, I dyed my hair blue-black as I was going through a wannabe goth/punk phase. Also about that same time, I of course began taking driver’s ed class. When we were filling out the application for the learner’s permit, we had to complete all the necessary demographic info including hair color. I asked, and as it turns out, you’re supposed to put down your natural hair color for purposes of a learner’s permit/driver’s license. I imagine the same applies if you go around wearing colored contacts. Although I recommend avoiding those, since most of the time, people go for the blue ones, and just end up looking like cracked out space aliens with glaucoma. Probably should follow the same rule of thumb when it comes to dying your hair some drastically different color than is appropriate for your race. I looked like an albino Mexican child, sort of like a male Martika.