BitchSmak the Pokemon: I Choose You!
Do you know that tendency that people from the U.K. have of being unduly forward? Such that while they may not intend to be deliberately rude or patronizing (perhaps…), they just come off as being rather asshole-y by American standards?
This was the case this past Sunday when this forty-eight year old Scottish/British gay guy came by our place to check out the vacant room and meet us. He mentioned something about the place being "trashed" or "a mess" (neither of which is true, barring perhaps the room itself, which was left for dead by the bygone roommate, thanks). I just kind of tuned out and offered a cool distance after that remark, but was actually genuinely insulted by it.
So it’s not the Taj Mahal. Get a grip.
Since it’s looking like we may not find someone in time for May’s rent, my roommate had the brilliant idea of us just moving to another unit on the island with just two bedrooms, and transferring the lease with us. I hope to crap it flies with the Treasure Island powers that be, and that if so, I still get to have my adjoining half bath. I swear, I’m not a big bathroom queen, but once you’ve had your own all to yourself, there’s just no going back, y’all.
The smell of clean laundry being dried in the dryer has got to be the sexiest smell I’ve ever smelled. A guy wearing freshly cleaned clothes runs a close second. And my only explanation (since I’m not a freaky neat freak, as would certainly be agreed upon by the dentally-challenged English) is that I somehow link it to the smell of those beautiful hidden boy jewels of suburbia.
You know…the bike riding, car washing, basketball playing, dog walking hotties who don’t know it (or do they?…) who exist far, far away from Castro Castro Land. I guess it’s also shockingly (albeit serendipitously) discordant to see a guy who you might expect to be blending in with the other tens at the club way out in the homely ‘burbs.
My contacts are irritating me so much right now that I would literally take the LASIK gun myself and carve out the appropriate shape in my eyeball just to be done with it.
P.S. The year is almost half way over…
